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Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

ACHILLE, OK—Despite only recently gaining the ability to form complete sentences, 2-year-old Trevor Cornett was able to present a clearheaded...

Yes, the British media, led by the Soviet-owned BBC, today announced that English singer Amy Whinehouse was indeed the most important human being in history.

In the bizarro world of Bush big business and war interests massacring Iraqi civilians, being investigated by the FBI, the State Dept, the Pentagon and Congress means you get another shot at the brass ring.

The Queen has ordered the immediate removal of all bed linen, sheets, duvets and actual beds from Balmoral Castle and has demanded a full fumigation of all guest bedrooms.

Federal authorities are to send a box of Bandaids to the southern city of Louisiana, hit by massive flooding and high winds.

It wasn't too long ago that Hillary Clinton was singing the praises of Saturday night live for the way it was portraying the 2008 campaign. Between invoking SNL to score...

Speaking from his council house in Govan, after giving his neighbour's son a wee smack for being a Tim, legend-in-his-own-thrown-cup-of-tea-time, and bluenose alky nutcase, Sir Alex Ferguson, had this to say about American sportsmen: 'What a...

"Hillary Clinton says she isn't dropping out because there are still six states that haven't had their Democratic primary. That's right. Barack Obama's favored in the states of Oregon, Montana...

Losing temper sucks. Being recorded losing temper as a known man, and the video being uploaded to YouTube, sucks twice as much.