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Bush Vows To Remove Toxic Petroleum From National Parks WASHINGTON, DC-Vowing to "restore the pristine splendor of America's natural treasures," President Bush Monday unveiled "Project: National Parks Clean-Up," an ambitious program to remove all toxic petrochemical deposits from national parks by 2004. The onion Sunday, July 06, 2008U.S. Ice Cubes Melting At Alarming Rate WASHINGTON, DC-High summer temperatures and ever-increasing levels of U.S. beverage consumption are causing ice cubes across the nation to melt at "an alarmingly unprecedented rate," the U.S. Department of Consumer Affairs reported Tuesday. The onion Sunday, July 06, 2008Beaver Overthinking Dam HUNTSVILLE, ONTARIO—Not content with functionalism, beaver Dennis Messner strives for integration-minded post-modernism. The onion Sunday, July 06, 2008American Successfully Defends World Car Eating Title Billy 'Jaws' Almond from Memphis, Tennessee, ate 3 complete cars in one hour to retain his title after fighting off fierce competition from the Russians. The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 20087 Things, Nick's Feelings LOS ANGELES - Today I caught up with one of the newest teen hearthrobs Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers. The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 2008Chinese Nix Olympic Games for Sarkozy China Daily, Beijing, wrote that 'Chinese people do not want French President Nicolas Sarkozy to attend the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics,' & they cited an internet survey as the source for this will of the masses. The... The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 2008Best Spoof Videos of Campaign 2008 Watch the latest spoof videos lampooning the presidential candidates and catch up on recent classics, including "John McCain's C-Word Moment," "I'm Voting Republican Because I'm an Idiot," SNL's Clinton-Obama Ad,... about.com Sunday, July 06, 2008Bush to Find Glory in the Baseball Diamond Musicman Press - It appears that Louisville Cardnal owner, Big Chew Spitz has offered the troubled president a one year 3.8 million dollar contract to resign his current post and pitch in the M.L.B. The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 2008California Changes Bridal Wedding Requirements (Again) For many years on their wedding days, brides have been traditionally requred to wear 'something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.' This will no longer be the case in California. The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 2008Steamy Sex and Titillating Revelations in Brinkley-Cook Divorce Trial Clear Courtroom of Spectators! The Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook divorce trial in Central Islip, New York, which started on July 2, has been hotter than the country's summer weather. Considering the daily drone of the unfortunate Iraq War, the miserable U.S. economy, and the ti... The Spoof Sunday, July 06, 20081 2
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