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New Healthier Pigs
Scientists have cloned pigs that are engineered to contain omega-3 fatty acids, which produce healthier pork. What do you think?
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

Entire Refrigerator Rearranged To Accommodate Leftover KFC Bucket
PIERRE, SD—Although he found room for the bucket, Jeremy Browning still had a surplus of food even after transferring an apple and loaf of bread to the freezer.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

History Doomed To Repeat Itself, Reports Man Who Just Dropped Food On Pants
DENVER—After dropping a chili dog in his lap Tuesday, area resident Marcus Nielson addressed the food-related blunder, calling it but...
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

Opinion: Son, You've Made A Mockery Of Taco Night
In 10 years of Taco Night, I've never been so disappointed.Words cannot describe the pain you have caused your mother and me. What did...
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

In Focus: Estate Sale Proves Everything Man Worked For In Life Worth 5,235.78
A life relatives considered "priceless" would not even buy a 2002 Dodge Neon.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

French's Introduces Antibacterial Mustard
ROCHESTER, NY—In response to increasing American demand for tangier, more hygienic meals, condiment giant French's has introduced a new antibacterial mustard.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

Area Man Unsure What To Do With All The Extra Ketchup Packets
ERIE, PA–After finishing his Big Bacon Classic Combo, area resident and Wendy's patron Don Turnbee, 38, expressed uncertainty Monday regarding what to do with all the extra ketchup packets.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

Unknown Life Form in North Carolina Sewer Sheds New Light On Michael Jackson's Psyche
Los Angeles, CA - A video on Youtube entitled 'Unknown Life Form in North Carolina Sewer' has gone viral, with over 3 million hits in 24 hours. Scientists believe that the video may actually aid in the understanding of 'The King of Pop', Michael Jack...
The Spoof Thursday, July 02, 2009

Health Department Closes Perfectly Good Burrito Place
COLUMBUS, OH —While the city's report criticized employees for refusing to wear hairnets and shirts, it failed to point out that Burrito Max served way awesome burritos.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

[video] New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less
Fast food giant Yum! Brands believes its new feedbags will make it even easier for Americans to constantly be eating.
The onion Thursday, July 02, 2009

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