EAST MEADOW, NY—Sixteen-year-old Jake Howell groaned and rolled his eyes Monday evening as he was subjected to another embarrassing...

Less than a month after it began, the federal "Cash for Clunkers" program--which provides owners of older vehicles with a $4,500 credit toward the...

MINNEAPOLIS—Recently acquired Twins shortstop Orlando Cabrera admitted Sunday that he is disgusted by the overpowering stench of tuna...

LIBBY, MT--Ken Hausch, a Libby-area Luddite separatist and conspiracy theorist, announced Monday that his much-anticipated manifesto, My Lonely Battle Against The Mind-Control Slavery Of The Illuminati And Its Footmen In The CIA, KGB, U.N., Vatican, NASA, IRS, AT&T, Federal Reserve, disney, The Order Of Skull & Bones, And The Rosicrucians, is "coming along fine" and should be completed by fall of this year.

Here at Lowell's Cleaning Services, our greatest asset is our employees. We're always striving to make our company stronger, and we try to be...

Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker drops in on the morning show to share some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender!

Check out our Editorial cartoon Gallery featuring the week's best political cartoons. New this week: cartoons on Obama's beer summit, healthcare reform, Obama "birthers", and more. Cartoon Collections Sarah Palin Cartoons Healthcare Cartoons Sonia Sotomayor Cartoons Mark Sanford Cartoons More Political Cartoons Get Political Humor on Facebook and Twitter

PORTLAND, OR--Nicholas Higby, laid off in January, strives to be the best jobless person he can be.

"Sarah Palin resigned a year-and-a-half before her term ends because she didn't want Alaska to have a lame-duck governor. Now, she has a book deal presumed to be worth millions. And I cannot wait to read it. I believe on the tenth page, she decides since the book is going to end anyway, to leave the last two hundred pages blank." -Stephen Colbert "If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" --Bill Maher "To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien "> "He invited the professor and the cop to come to the White House on Thursday for beer. Alcohol usually cools things off. Have you noticed that? That's where you want to go." -

Plans are already being made to pay respect to the legendary director, including a solemn promise by many in Hollywood to produce terrible remakes of his movies.