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Ian Frazier: Easy Cocktails from the Cursing Mommy
Those high-priced bartenders in their red vests and white shirts who your caterers recommended to serve at your last party may know a thing or two, but for entertaining on a smaller scale—for parties of seven people, four, or even just one—a few simple steps . . .
New Yorker Monday, September 07, 2009

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes
"In 2012, the Republicans are now talking about the presidential ticket, Dick Cheney and running as vice president Sarah Palin. Talk about your dream ticket. Oh buddy, the comedy recession is over. I mean, come on, talk about your shotgun marriage." --David Letterman "There was an article in Vanity Fair that says Sarah Palin -- listen to this, this borders on the creepy -- that what she was trying to do ? was adopt her daughter Bristol's baby. ? Oh yeah, like I'm going to make a joke about this. None of my business. Whatever you want. Live and let live, that's my motto." --David Letterman "But this article is quite an expose. The article claims that Sarah Palin really couldn't see russia from her house. The article also says that Sarah Palin was not much of a hunter. And I was thinking, I don't know, she killed John McCain's chances." --David Letterman "Jenna Bush was hired as a correspondent for the 'Today' show. People are wondering if her dad was a factor in her getting the job
About Monday, September 07, 2009

Cartel Kills 18 In Rehab
A Mexican drug cartel is being blamed for the shooting deaths of 18 patients at a rehab clinic. What do you think?
The onion Monday, September 07, 2009

Next Tarantino Movie An Homage To Beloved Tarantino Movies Of Director's Youth
MADRID—"I've been a Tarantino fan for as long as I can remember," said Tarantino, who repeatedly referred to his hero as "The Master." "We're talking about the quintessential writer-director of our time."
The onion Monday, September 07, 2009

White Sufficiency Movement Asserts Whites Right Up There With Other Races
EVANSVILLE, KY—Members of the Somewhat Aryan Nation, the country's most outspoken white sufficiency group, held a rally Tuesday night to...
The onion Monday, September 07, 2009

Sports: Kevin Youkilis Keeps Everyone On Bus Awake With Another One Of His Nasty Sex Stories
TAMPA, FL—Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis reportedly prevented everyone on the team bus from sleeping Monday when he loudly described in...
The onion Monday, September 07, 2009

[video] NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions
Thanks to the NFL's Mentoring Program, the Lions got to spend a fun-filled day with the pros learning to catch, tackle.
The onion Monday, September 07, 2009

Cartoons from the Issue
A collection of cartoons from the issue, plus this week's cartoon Caption Contest.
New Yorker Monday, September 07, 2009

Heckling Joe 'You Lie' Wilson
Rep. Joe Wilson (R-Tourette's) is getting widely heckled on the Internets for yelling "You Lie" at President Obama during his speech on health care to a joint session of Congress. One new Website called Joe Wilson Is Your Pre-Existing Condition (from the creators of barack obama Is Your New Bicycle) takes shots at the Joe the Heckler under the tagline "You dissed America; we'll diss you right the f*ck back." Some choice one-liners: ? Joe Wilson hit on your mom ? Joe Wilson didn't refill your Brita pitcher ? Joe Wilson used your best scissors to trim his ear hair ? Joe Wilson is on your death panel ? Joe Wilson yells while adults are talking ? Joe Wilson laid off your dad just before his pension kicked in ? Joe Wilson claims your sick child is faking ? Joe Wilson said you looked fat in that dress ? Joe Wilson canceled Arrested Development ? Joe Wilson thinks you are too stupid to actually read the bill ? Joe Wilson canceled your insurance for buying off-brand insoles ? Joe Wilso
About Monday, September 07, 2009

The 5 Most Unfair Kids Game Shows
Our own Danny Gallagher has a hilarious piece on Cracked.com. We always knew Danny was cracked, and we (meaning...
sillybuddies.com Monday, September 07, 2009

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