A study of repair records showed that the Xbox 360 was substantially less reliable than its competitors. What do you think?

BRECKSVILLE, OH—Local man and casual baseball fan Leon Markham confirmed to reporters Wednesday that he has definitely heard the name of baseball player Andre Ethier. "Andrew Ethier, yeah. Shortstop for the Phillies, right?" Markham said of the Dodgers outfielder. "He's good at hitting. Or maybe he's known for his defense? He's fast, I think. Sounds fast.

GRESHAM, OR—After spending half an hour Monday instilling much-needed confidence in one of her most timid freshmen, Sam Barlow High School...

"In 2012, the Republicans are now talking about the presidential ticket, Dick Cheney and running as vice president Sarah Palin. Talk about your dream ticket. Oh buddy, the comedy recession is over. I mean, come on, talk about your shotgun marriage." --David Letterman "There was an article in Vanity Fair that says Sarah Palin -- listen to this, this borders on the creepy -- that what she was trying to do ? was adopt her daughter Bristol's baby. ? Oh yeah, like I'm going to make a joke about this. None of my business. Whatever you want. Live and let live, that's my motto." --David Letterman "But this article is quite an expose. The article claims that Sarah Palin really couldn't see russia from her house. The article also says that Sarah Palin was not much of a hunter. And I was thinking, I don't know, she killed John McCain's chances." --David Letterman "Jenna Bush was hired as a correspondent for the 'Today' show. People are wondering if her dad was a factor in her getting the job

You know, some people just don't get it. They think they need to smoke a little grass, maybe do a little blow, or ingest several grams of angel...

Congressman Gary Nelson has an economic plan to raise his family's standard of living.

A survey by the Shuttleworth Research Center found that the majority of male roommates ages 18-24 got wasted off their asses the previous evening.

FORT MEYERS, FL—According to meteorologists, the massive storm could make as many as 3 million residents every bit as homeless as they've been for the past year or so.

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

According to Kristin Stewart, co-star Robert Pattinson has began acting very strange of late. "At first, I thought Rob was just screwing around, something he always enjoys, and singing some of Michael Jackson's songs. I mean Michael was great and...