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Obama's Lightsaber Episode
No, this isn't photoshopped. That's President Obama, nerd-in-chief, wielding a lightsaber on the White House lawn. The photo was taken as Obama picked up a toy lightsaber to fence with US Olympic Fencer Tim Morehouse during an event to promote Chicago's bid for the 2016 Olymipcs. Naturally, the Obama lightsaber picture has inspired a series of amusing photoshop parodies and captioned pictures featuring Obama in various Jedi poses. Not to mention all kinds of wisecracks, like these from Digg users: "You can't win, teabaggers. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."-ChocChunkOaties (See pic) "Well I guess having a Jedi as President is better than when we had Jar Jar." -Pimptastic "Does this mean Cheney is his real father? And that Cheney is a black Muslim from Kenya?" -Geodebug "Barack, I'm really happy for you, and I'm a let you finish, but Luke Skywalker had one of the best lightsaber stances of all time." -KotoOni Related: John H
About Friday, September 18, 2009

Color Blindness Cured in Monkeys
An experimental treatment in which a human virus carrying color-sensing genes was injected into monkeys' eyes resulted in a drastic reduction in...
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

Melting Ice Caps Expose Hundreds Of Secret Arctic Lairs
ZACKENBERG RESEARCH STATION, GREENLAND—"The other day a massive ice sheet broke off and split my Fightcave completely in half," said superhero Fightman, who for years has fought evil from an icy headquarters hidden deep beneath a glacier.
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

Sports: John Stockton Assists Hall Of Fame Officials In Setting Up Induction Ceremony
SPRINGFIELD, MA—Saying he just wanted to do whatever he could to make it a great event, all-time NBA assists leader John Stockton arrived several hours early to the NBA Hall of Fame induction ceremony Friday in order to help set up the PA system, construct the stage, and hang banners and posters throughout the room.
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

Michael J. Fox Reluctantly Fields Hoverboard Question During Parkinson's Research Benefit
NEW YORK—Despite being on a panel to discuss his foundation's contributions to Parkinson's research, actor Michael J. Fox reluctantly...
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

In Focus: Area Man Thinking Up Funny Things To Say For Next Football Game
MCKEESPORT, PA--Seeking to continue his longstanding tradition of cracking wise during NFL telecasts, die-hard Pittsburgh Steelers fan Glenn Patek, 34, has already begun brainstorming quips for the team's Dec. 8 game against the Houston Texans.
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

Kanye West Interrupts Obama's Speech
That’s not true, I lol.
vincentchow Friday, September 18, 2009

[audio] Sexy Alien Does Not Understand This Thing Humans Call 'Love'
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
The onion Friday, September 18, 2009

Kevin Skinner Wins $1 Million Gets Marriage Proposal From OctuMom
LA HABRA, California - About ten minutes after Kevin Skinner won America's Got Talent's top prize of $1 million he got a congratulatory phone call from none other than OctuMom. An unnamed reliable source said that Kevin and Octy had gone out on a...
The Spoof Friday, September 18, 2009

90% Of Attendants To Mary Travers Funeral Believed To Be On Medicinal Marijuana
Danbury, Connecticut - It has been estimated that the vast majority of the prospective attendants to the Mary Travers funeral are on medicinal marijuana, local marijuana grower Hodge Podge has stated. Therefore the church where the funeral is being h...
The Spoof Friday, September 18, 2009


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