fun stuff / Humor
Nigerian Officials Try To Block 'District 9'Nigerian information minister Dora Akunyili has asked movie houses to stop screening the science fiction film District 9 because of its...
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009Sports: Troy Polamalu All Over Orthopedic ClinicPITTSBURGH—Steelers safety Troy Polamalu reportedly wreaked havoc on the Tri-State Orthopedics Clinic Monday, flailing around wildly on his crutches and violently knocking over unsuspecting physical therapy patients while rehabilitating the sprained medial collateral ligament in his left knee.
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009Spatial Skills Abandon Area Man During Search For Correct Tupperware LidWATERVILLE, ME—The ability to judge different sizes and shapes was inexplicably lost on Waterville resident John Wyatt on Tuesday as he...
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009In Focus: Local Fox Affiliate Debuts Terror-Alert VanMURFREESBORO, TN--Touting itself as "the only channel with a terror-alert system designed to meet the specific needs of central Tennessee," Fox News affiliate WMFB-TV Channel 11 debuted its terror-alert van Monday.
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009P.S. I Love YouSo where were you on the night of Sept. 14, when you first heard the news? Were you, like me, sitting at the kitchen table watching E! and...
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009Obama to Letterman: 'I Was Actually Black Before the Election'Barack obama made his first appearance as president on the "Late Show With David Letterman," where he talked race and health care and traded a few quips with Letterman. (Watch video highlights) The most memorable exchange came when Letterman asked whether Obama's opponents were motivated by racial hatred. "Was Jimmy Carter onto something ? was this unease or poor decorum rooted in racism, or is that just something to talk about?? Letterman asked. "It?s important to realize that I was actually black before the election," Obama quipped. "Really?" said Letterman. "This is true," Obama said. "How long have you been a black man?" Letterman asked. (Watch video clip) There was also a gag about a woman in the audience who brought a heart-shaped potato to the show. "The main reason I'm here? I want to see that heart-shaped potato,? Obama said. "The potato was then tossed to Letterman, who gave it to Obama, who said, "This is remarkable." Letterman, meanwhile, presented a list of the "To
About Tuesday, September 22, 2009P.S. I Love You (by Jean Teasdale)So where were you on the night of Sept. 14, when you first heard the news? Were you, like me, sitting at the kitchen table watching E! and...
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009Nerd Alarmed At His Growing Interest In FootballGeorge Winn, a Philadelphia area accountant and nerd by scientific classification, says he's extremely concerned about his recent appreciation and understanding of the game of American
football -- something that runs directly counter to his nerd genetics.
The enduring vision Tuesday, September 22, 2009[audio] New Heart-Shaped Sniper Scope Makes It Impossible For Marines To Shoot EnemiesOnion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009Nadir Of Western Civilization To Be Reached This Friday At 3:32 P.M.WASHINGTON—"This horrible but inevitable day has been a long time coming," said one Anthropologist, before picking up a black marker and, seemingly without thought or intent,
drawing a long, thick phallus on his chart.
The onion Tuesday, September 22, 2009
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