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Republicans Resist Democratic Proposal To Include Zombies In 2010 Census
Some still-living Republican lawmakers have claimed political motivations are behind the Democratic proposal to include zombies in the 2010 census, a move that is proving more controversial than initially thought.
The enduring vision Friday, October 09, 2009

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes
"So they're going to attack the moon, and they're going to be looking for water. And I thought, well, that's pretty much sounds like our government -- bomb first, look for evidence later. That's the way we do business." --David Letterman "I know why you're happy tonight. Because after all these months of seeing these tea baggers hold up signs of Obama with the Hitler mustache painted on, we have proof now that Obama isn't Hitler. Because when Hitler tried to get the Olympics, he got it." --Bill Maher "With the Olympic Committee, it came down to one simple question -- where do you want to go to spend your summer vacation? The land where super models invented bikini wax? The land where fat guys invented deep dish pizza?" --Bill Maher "You know what the saddest part is about Chicago not getting the 2016 Olympics? Former Governor Rod Blagojevich already sold 10 free seats for 100 grand apiece to the opening ceremony." --Jay Leno "Sarah Palin's book is big, 400 pages. She wrote the book
About Friday, October 09, 2009

Sports: Flyers Defeat Devils In What Everyone Involved Believes To Be Preseason Game
NEWARK, NJ—In a game that everyone in the stands and on the ice believed to be a tune-up before the NHL's regular season begins,...
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

Parents Against Swine Flu Vaccine
An Associated Press poll shows that 38 percent of all parents do not want their children vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, or swine flu. What do...
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

God Introduces New Bird
THE HEAVENS—Available in two colors­--male and female--the bird reportedly combines everything God has learned from His previous works into one "new twist on an old classic."
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

Quaker Oats Canister Relabeled 'DRUGS' For Grade School Play
ABINGDON, MD—In order to dispel any confusion regarding the contents of a 42-ounce Quaker Oats canister used in the play Drugs...
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

In Focus: Liz Taylor In Stable Condition Following Emergency Rhinestonectomy
LOS ANGELES--It was a return to the days of old-fashioned Hollywood surgical glamour Saturday, as Elizabeth Taylor was rushed to Yul Brynner Memorial Hospital for an emergency rhinestonectomy.
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

[audio] Water Balloon Attacks Are Hurting Lemonade Stand's Bottom Line
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
The onion Friday, October 09, 2009

Political Cartoons of the Week
Check out our Editorial cartoon Gallery featuring the week's best political cartoons. New this week: cartoons on Limbaugh's bid to buy the St. Louis Rams, Obama's Nobel Peace Prize, Wall Street bonuses, and more. Political Cartoon Collections barack obama Cartoons Healthcare Cartoons Sarah Palin Cartoons More Political Cartoons Get Political Humor on Facebook and TwitterPolitical Cartoons of the Week originally appeared on About.com Political Humor on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 at 04:17:22.Permalink | Comment | Email this
About Friday, October 09, 2009


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