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ATT Claims Verizon Lied About Coverage
Telecommunications giant AT&T is suing Verizon Wireless for ads Verizon ran suggesting AT&T had gaps in its network. What do you think?
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

Sports: New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse
NEW YORK—Officials from New York Road Runners stripped American Meb Keflezighi of his 2009 ING New York City Marathon victory Wednesday after a blood sample taken from his fetlock was found to contain high levels of performance-enhancing horse.
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

1999 Collaboration Between Carlos Santana, Rob Thomas Somehow Standing Test Of Time
LOS ANGELES—Sources reported Monday that "Smooth," the 1999 collaborative effort of guitarist Carlos Santana and singer-songwriter Rob...
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

In Focus: Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies
WASHINGTON—Authorities expect the shortage to subside by April, but until then, urge citizens to skip shy the rickshaw until the flypaper marigolds can waterfall.
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

Ask The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant
Dear The Online Reviews Of A New Tex-Mex Restaurant, For the past six weeks, my husband and I have been remodeling our master...
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

[video] Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

Sports: Brett Favre Avenges Storied 16-Year Career With Packers
GREEN BAY, WI—Brett Favre beat the Green Bay Packers on Sunday for the second time this season, his decisive 38-26 victory exacting some...
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

Hippie Parents Express Disappointment, Frustration At Rebellious Republican Son
Left-leaning activists Don and Regina "Sunshine" Hooper have indicated aggravation to friends and family over what they call "harmful" and "rebellious" actions of their son, Brock, a Republican who is currently attending business school at Ball State.
The enduring vision Thursday, November 05, 2009

[audio] Dept. Of Defense Locked Out Of Pentagon Again
Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland
The onion Thursday, November 05, 2009

Cheryl Cole Free Kick Broke Ashley's Tibia
It's been revealed that Ashley Cole's depressed fracture of the tibia is not a legacy from the Champion's League game against Atletico Madrid. Although he was injured in that match three weeks ago, the real damage was done when wife Cheryl gave hi...
The Spoof Thursday, November 05, 2009

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